Please refer to the previous title.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

Dengan rasminya, Maharajalawak Mega atau MLM telah berakhir kelmarin. Syabas (bukan Syarikat Bekalan Air Selangor) diucapkan kepada Jozan yang telah merangkul gelaran Juara Maharajalawak Mega 2012.

Yes, I'm a big fan of MLM! I will usually records the programs and get back to it once I'm home. Yeah, many thanks to Astro Beyond. Okay, as compared to the previous MLM, this year is much much much more better and is waayyyy proper. Perhaps it is because of the censoring or muting of the content? Well, we know that some comedians, bila dah tak ada idea, diorang akan merapu dan dari merapu tu, mula lah start jokes yang improper. Improper satu hal, yang lucah tu memang aku tak boleh terima. Sebab rancangan ni adalah family show. So, as a professional comedians, you have to filter all the contents that you're presenting. But this year, Astro make a leap step by muting all the explicit content. Well done! 

Okay, last night, the first two groups (Jozan and Shiro), who performed the first round's sketches were just 'so-so'. To me, that kinda performances weren't meant to be in the FINAL!. To be frank, I was about to switched off my TV. Nasiblah ada Wulan. And then, as the performances went through, barulah terasa dia punya heat. Pendek kata, maybe diorang belum panas lagi kot. At last, I'm satisfied enough. And, adat lah, in a competition, for sure ada yang menang dan ada yang kalah. Dan... mesti ada yang tak puas hati. 

A: Boboi terbaik doh. Kenapa tak menang semalam?

B: Ala, dia masa final tetiba pulak nak perform. Tak consistent la. 
     Tengok Jambu tu. Consistent je.

A: Lawak Jambu tu tak ada pengisisian tahu tak. Kosong. Kosong. 
   Segala kata cacian yang telah engkau berikan 
    membuat diriku rasa kosong kosong kosong. Puii

B: Eh, engkau kalau nak tengok yang berisi, tengok lah Astro Oasis. 
     Orang nak tengok lawak bro. Lawak. Meaning, pengisisian tu 
     dah jatuh nombor dua.


P.s: The consistent contestant goes to Wulan Guritno! <3

Friendzon (ing) (ed)

Disclaimer: This entry has got zero amount of intentions in making  fun of people who have been friendzoned or to whom may actively doing this activity as a hobby or career. This entry is fundamentally created for the entertainment purposes.

In this life, there are zones that people likes and there are also zones in which people will try to stay away from it. The zones that are able to be identified are including;  tow zones, non-smoking zones, and time zones which determines the time of breaking fast and the most liked zone ever.! 

Friendzoned on the other hand, is described by people out there as one of the most disgraceful zone. I do somehow quite agree with the statement but not entirely. Bila sebut je 'friendzone', orang akan ingat benda ni negatif secara total. Well, the truth is, there are the also the positives after being friendzoned.  Now, I wanna make a few points and outlines on why friendzoned should be prohibited and why it should not. Also, I want to share some tips regarding to this matter.

1. 'Friendzoned' should be allowed of its occurrences when we knew that the person has the intention of only to play-play around. Yang ni memang padan muka lah. Relationship is not something that you can play out of your likes. So, please get PSP or other gaming devices if you want to play, okay?

2. 'Friendzoned' should be allowed of its occurrences if the person has no intention of furthering the relationship into the next level which is marriage. I heard about this a lot. One of my friends, friendzoned her friend (yeah, a bit mind-blown here), because she said that the guy wasn't serious. And, at the same time, she was approached by someone who is more serious albeit not famous. So, in my stance, I would say that she made a right decision of 'friendzoning' that guy as at some level, trying and error sessions are no more relevant. 

3. 'Friendzoned' should be prohibited when he/she treat you nicely, spend times with you, and do all the good stuffs on this earth to you. Okay, believe it or not, this is the situation, especially guys who are very honest, caring (you list down yourself all the criteria) being friendzoned. The five famous points which they're missing are money, money, money, money and looks. The rules is like this. You win some, you lose some. Ain't it right? Ye lah, Allah is fair. Sometimes, he/she got the looks and money but then, not honest. On the other hand, the guy who is less wealthier is the one who has all the good attributes. So, the power is in your hands (celcom). 

Selalunya, kalau couples yang break-up will surely akan sedih. Takpun marah. Takpun menyesal. Okay, that one is totally understandable. Yang 'friendzone' ni, cerita lain. Belum apa-apa lagi, dah kena reject. So, aku yakin combination sedih, marah dan menyesal tu semua ada. Macam mana tahu? Experience la bro. lol. So, how to deal with it?

1. Relax je dulu. Don't make any knee-jerk actions. Termasuklah buat muka merayu-rayu, sedih-sedih dekat orang tu. Trust me that they'll never buy it. Yes. Your pity face! 

2. Try to stay away with them. Make less contact if possible. Act like, "Eleh, ingat aku hadap sangat lah kat dia?". Kenapa kena buat macam ni? Ini sebenarnya adalah langkah-langkah awal untuk mengelak situasi-situasi #awkward 

3. This point is entitled for those who ignore the second tips. Untuk pengetahuan, ada je yang akur bila dia difriendzonedkan. Ini semua pasal tak lain tak bukan dari quotes dan tweets #damnitstrue dekat twitter. Orang-orang yang macam ni bagus sebenarnya sebab diorang ialah positives thinker. Dan, 1 dalam 1000 yang buat macam ni, diorang akan success. Orang yang macam ni jugak tak perlu diberi tips. Waima apa ribut yang datang pun, nescaya diorang akan teruskan plan A diorang. Their plan B is to get Plan A done. So, kita biar kan je.

4. Yang lelaki biasanya mesti ada pride and glory. Eh, pride and ego. So, in order to maintain your pride and ego tu, at one time, mesti those friendzoner akan rasa bersalah dan akan minta maaf. Masa ni lah kita kena cakap, "Saya pun nak minta maaf jugak sebab saya pun saja suka-suka test ajak couple". Tips ni diyakini amat berkesan kepada mereka yang merasa tak ada harapan lagi towards that particular person dan benci pada istilah 'zon kawan'.  

5. This is not the last point. In fact, as a Muslim, this is the main point that I want to highlight. Ingat, rejection dari manusia lebih baik rejection dari Allah. Mula-mula memang lah tak boleh terima. Manusia kata kan. Full of emotions gitu. So, what should we do? Fikir positif. Kita hari-hari doa' supaya Allah jauh kan kita dari azab api neraka. This shows that our prayer is actually accepted by Him. One psychological fact saying that, when you're very keen towards someone, you'll think everything that they do, they have, are impossible to be replaced. Dari situlah orang cakap, "Love is blind". In which, manusia sebenarnya yang buta masa bercinta. Bukan cinta tu yang buta. Aha. Cuba bukak sikit mata tu and see things that are happening around you. Involved with activities available. Sibuk kan diri. And, lastly you'll definitely reach the point where you'll feel "Ya Allah, leganya hidup macam ni."

Tips dan points selanjutnya akan ada di dalam buku yang ada gambar Good Guy Greg ni. lol.

Tahun Baru Friendzone(d)

 Assalamualaikum w.b.t

Happy 'weekending', Happy New Year and Happy Final Exam (Tipu je tu... mana ada orang seronok berfinal unless carry marks dia dah dapat 50).

So, yeah New Year. Ingat lagi 13 tahun yang lepas. The New Year Eve's Celebration was 'firetruckingly' awesome. But why? Sebabnya dah berabad kita hidup dengan angka yang mula dengan satu (e.g. 1000, 1991, 1999). So, bila nak start dengan angka dua dihadapan, mesti rasa macam "aaahh, bestnyee bestnyee!"

Kalau kita ingat lagi, 13 tahun yang lepas juga lebih famous amos dengan panggilan nick name dia which is Y2K (Year 2k or Year 2000)... Bukan Y2J (Ni untuk sesiapa yang kenal Chris Jericho je lah). 

Back to the story, yang paling membuatkan aku tersangat-sangat excited ialah sebab aku telah ditipu mentah-mentah je bahawasanya that the world will transform into a whole new level.

Kawan : "Weh, lagi berapa hari ni dah nak Y2K!" (Masa tu tak tahu 

               lagi Y2K tu apa) (Dengar pun dah macam gempak kan?) 

               (Eh, ke aku je yang rasa macam tu?) :/

Me       : Dengan muka innocent nya bertanya, "Ape dohh Y2K tu?"

Kawan : "Kau ni pun, Y2K kot. Itu pun tak tahu ke." Dengan muka 

               frust, dia explained kat aku, "Abang aku bagi tau, Y2K ni   

               nanti boleh transform bumi macam Transformer tau" 

               (Sengal gila abang dia, trollster betul)

Me       : Aku pun dengan muka tak tahu apa, "Oh, yeke? Gila 

              gempak doh!"  (Ya Allah, sungguh noob betul hambaMu 

              ini)

At last, harapan aku punah sepunah-punahnya. Cis, berani dia troll budak cute berumur 9 tahun a.k.a aku? Apa yang aku dapat masa tu? Well, masa tu KLCC belum ada taman lagi. And, dia punya bunga api betul-betul jatuh menghala ke rumah aku. So, since I was a kid, I watched all those fireworks stuffs just from outside my door. Tapi sekarang, bunga api sparks at the other side of the building since diorang dah ada taman (ala... tempat budak-budak yang kekurangan life lepak tu).

Gambar KLCC dari belakang rumah aku.

No matter how, I still insist that the transformations that has been 'lied' to me is true indeed. 

Before Y2K, the existence of smartphones is some kinda fantasy only.

SMART TV. This is one of the latest product produced by SAMSUNG

Before Y2K jugak lah, dapat PS2 pun dah rasa seronok yang tak tergambar oleh kata-kata. Generation sekarang, dah dapat iPhone pun still bising lagi. All in all, aku still bangga dilahirkan pada 90's sebab aku dapat merasa main Winning Eleven/PES dengan gambar kotak-kotak dekat PlayStation 1. (Untuk pemain WE tegar dari before 2000's, mesti faham apa yang aku cuba nak gambarkan).

Ini lah yang aku cakap pasal gambar petak-petak tu. Sebab muka diorang semua satu acuan je.

Bahasa Jepun tu.

P/s: Sedih pulak bila tengok gambar-gambar ni. :'( (90's gamer will get this)

Okay, aku bukan nak cerita pasal ni at first. Tapi, since content dia somehow quite related dengan new year, so aku masukkan je lah. Yang aku betul-betul nak cerita pasal new year is its resolution. Suka betul orang tanya, "Eh, apa resolution tahun ni?". Aku jawab, "Nak fulfill last year punya resolution." Dalam hati aku, dah tak ada soalan lain ke. Tiap-tiap tahun pun resolutions banyak, buatnya entah tidak. Kan?.

Nak je jawab macam ni. Huu

Oh ya. Tajuk ada tulis friendzone kan? Lepas habis exam akan diupdate barangkali. 

Ciao.

King of Southeast Asia 2012

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Salam Hari Sabtu dan Salam bermalas-malasan.

Masa tengah tengok AFF Suzuki's Cup Final 2nd leg tadi (I missed the first leg), terdetik hati, "Eh, kalau menang la Singapore malam ni, I will definitely dedicate my so called '1st' entry to them." Well, here we go my deepest congratulations to each one of them. 

Singapore's First XI for AFF Suzuki's Cup 2012

Okay, don't get me wrong. I'm NOT a Singaporean though I was born and being raised for a quite sometimes there. It is just I feel that their spirit did amazed me. Frankly writing, their tactics and strategies of playing also always give me something to ponder. Fine, you don't get it. I give you example lah kan. I attached this blog with the location of Singapore in the world map. Please click the picture to enlarge. Okay. Rasa-rasalah kan, kalau nak dibandingkan dengan Malaysia mahupun Indonesia, Singapore adalah negara yang kecil saiznya. In fact, kalau nak dibandingkan dengan Johor pun, lagi besar Johor rasanya. Tengoklah sendiri map bawah ni.

After all, that is not my main point. What do I want to emphasize is that, their mentality in getting the job done. I noticed that, each times Singapore won, the 'opposition' will surely said, "Alah, main pakai negro, mat saleh, cina semua (Agu Casmir, Bennet, Duric, Shi Jiayi, Qiu Li)... baik tak payah main". Itu lah jawapan tipikal yang sering kali berkumandang selepas mengalami kekalahan. At first, aku pun fikir the exact thing and it is like a bandwagon effect which you have to keep your head down, accept and being fooled with that answer.

Small country, small population, small available resources, and small serba-serbi. Should we blame them when they are using those so called 'naturalized' players? You think yourself. Agu Casmir, how many games did he played during this competition? Null. Duric? You know how old is he? Up to this point, he is 42 years-old. As a matter of fact, we should ask ourselves, "Eh, dah tua macam tu pun tak boleh lawan jugak ke?". Then, kita tengok padang dia. Again and again we give the excuse, "Padang dia synthetic woo... kau ingat senang ke nak beat?". #Facepalm. I mean, come on lah, padang pun nak dijadikan isu ke? Macam ni lah, kenapa masa Arwah Mokhtar Dahari dulu mereka berjaya dengan cemerlang dan tak bangkitkan banyak alasan? Sebab kerja mereka adalah bermain bola dan bukannya pemberi alasan tegar. And, that's why we call them Football Players. So, if you are a football player, then play it je lah kan. #emo

For me, knowing your ability and capability in doing something is the main key. Again, take a look a Singapore Football Association. They all realized that they can't do much with the available resources that they have. Thus, the seek the available options. My point here is not to encourage of taking foreign players, but then is to urge you and myself on how to get a job done successfully. Eh, kalau nak tahu lah macam mana rupa player Singapore yang original, two pictures down here are the best examples that I can give it to you which are; Ah Kang and Ah Beng

Gurmit Singh a.k.a Phua Chu Kang

Pierre Ng. a.k.a Phua Chu Beng (three from left)

Haa, lawak kan kalau diorang main? So, before kita buat or bagi alasan menghinzir buta, think not once, but twice or thrice.




Yours Truly,

Seorang Kaki Bangku